"That's Who I Am," Is BS!

Whether it's training, coaching, or managing people, I’ve heard the excuse “that’s who I am” countless times. This fixed mindset mentality is not reality. You can change! It might be challenging, but the feeling of accomplishment trumps the effort.

Challenge Your Beliefs

I once had a fitness client tell me, “I’m the fat one in my family. That’s my role.” The problem is, if you tell yourself this, you believe it. She needed to change her mindset along with exercising. Creating a positive belief system is crucial. Whatever that new belief or goal is, write it down somewhere you’ll see often, like on your computer.

Counter Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk might creep in from time to time. And that’s okay. When it happens, pause and then disagree! Counter the negative with a positive affirmation, like “I got this!” Breaking free from self-imposed limitations does not happen overnight; consistency is key.

Start Small, Build Confidence

Starting with a small improvement and gaining a win builds confidence and tells your brain you are capable of change! Maybe you want to be more punctual, tidy, or learn a new skill. Whatever it is, break it down into digestible parts and take the first step.

Embrace Attention to Detail

For many years, I created marketing material. I had an ongoing battle with my boss about typos. He always pushed back, saying I could eliminate these errors. I started using grammar check and a dictionary, read all documents out loud, and found a colleague to review the material. My writing improved significantly. This experience taught me that attention to detail is something I can improve at and there are many people willing to help me.

Stay Open to New Methods

I come from a long line of readers, but I never read. My excuse was, “I’m a writer, not a reader.” Then a friend suggested I try audiobooks. It changed my life. Reading has helped me write better, motivates me, and I’ve learned so much from authors like Adam Grant, Michael Bungay Stainer, Brené Brown, and many others. This highlights the importance of staying open to new methods and tools for personal growth.

Persevere Through Feedback

I always wanted to be a writer. While attempting to get published, I was told by a few literary agents that my novels lacked depth and I should quit. It was a huge hit to my ego, and after years of trying to publish fiction, I gave up. When I turned 40, something snapped. I took the feedback, updated my first book, and self-published it. A year later, I published my second book, and my third book will be out soon! I’m not a New York Times bestseller yet, but I will get there!

Seek Support and Embrace Growth

Once you realize you can change, the next step is figuring out how to make it happen. There’s nothing wrong with asking for help. Whether it’s a friend, expert, or therapist, developing a support system is crucial. Push yourself and embrace the journey of growth! You will be surprised at how helpful people can be.

Conclusion

If anyone tells you that you can’t change, use that as motivation and cut that Negative Nancy out of your life. Remember, the only limits you have are the ones you place on yourself. Break free from the confines of a fixed mindset and explore the endless possibilities that an open mind can offer. If you want some coaching along the way, shoot me a message.