Relational Fundraising with Joey Small

Joey Small, Director Of Institutional Advancement at The Frisch School

Joey Small began our conversation by talking about a snowstorm.

There were two feet of snow outside his house. School had been canceled. Then moved to Zoom. Then back in person. It felt like a fitting metaphor for development work in a Jewish day school. Conditions are rarely perfect. The work still must move forward.

Joey helps lead fundraising and advancement at The Frisch School in New Jersey. During a period of significant growth, including the Future of Frisch campaign, he has helped the school raise millions of dollars in both annual and capital support. What stood out most in our conversation was not a tactic or a clever strategy. It was a mindset.

Fundraising, at its core, is relational.

Development is about relationships

Joey framed his work in a way that feels obvious once you hear it yet is easy to lose sight of in the pressure of goals and timelines.

“It’s literally the word development,” he said. “How do we develop a stronger and stronger relationship with this person and make them feel more and more invested in our institution?”

Major gifts are not the result of a single conversation. They are the outcome of trust built over time. Joey spoke openly about the tension advancement professionals often face between short-term needs and long-term relationships. Schools need results. Donors need to feel known.

The most effective fundraisers learn how to hold both.

A short-term win may feel good in the moment. A strong relationship creates sustained support, advocacy, and future growth.

Knowing your donors changes the conversation

One of Joey’s strengths is that he pays attention to people. He listens closely and remembers what matters to them. That knowledge shapes how and when he engages.

He shared an example of a donor who had completed a significant capital commitment and later expressed interest in honoring a family member. Joey did not rush to propose a project. He listened, explored options, and helped shape a gift that aligned with the donor’s values and story.

That approach builds trust. It also leads to deeper engagement.

Over time, donors become more than supporters. They become partners. They offer insight, introductions, and perspective that no database can provide. That kind of engagement only happens when donors feel understood.

Consistent outreach still matters

Frisch’s recent gala brought together roughly 800 people. Joey described it simply as a lot of outreach.

Phone calls. Emails. Follow-ups.

He also talked about how communication norms have evolved. Texting, when done thoughtfully and respectfully, has become another way to stay connected. Used well, it strengthens relationships rather than cheapening them.

The takeaway is straightforward. Fundraising does not move without outreach.

Calls, emails, texts, and follow-ups are not nuisances. They are signals of care and attention when done with intention. Joey added, “You have to understand how donors want to communicate. Some like calls, others want texts or emails. And it evolves.”

And of course, Consistency builds momentum.

Make giving easy

Joey emphasized the importance of removing friction from the giving process. Donors want to act when they feel inspired. If giving feels complicated, that moment can pass.

Giving should be simple, clear and accessible.

When the process works smoothly, donors can focus on impact rather than logistics. Joey added, “We want to be able to take Zelle, Venmo, Google, Apple pay…whatever makes it easier for the donor.  Whether it’s a planned gift like from a DAF we want one click.”  That of course was music to my ears.

Projects succeed when they connect to values

Joey shared examples of projects that have resonated deeply within the Frisch community, including Gan Hachaim, a memorial honoring IDF soldiers and victims of October 7. The project has already raised significant support and continues to build momentum.

What makes projects like this successful is not the category of the gift. It is meaning.

When a project aligns with a donor’s identity, experience, or values, people lean in. They

want to be part of building something that matters.

Making need tangible

One of the most powerful practices Joey described involves helping leaders understand the real impact of fundraising. In addition to capital and operational costs, Joey raises dollars for scholarships. He creates briefs with this information, so decision-makers can see the human reality behind the numbers.

That clarity changes how people talk about fundraising. It moves the conversation from abstract goals to real outcomes.

Stories give context to dollars. They help leaders become better ambassadors and more confident advocates.

Teaching keeps the work grounded

Joey also teaches Tanakh, and he spoke about teaching with genuine passion. It keeps him connected to the students and reminds him why the work matters.

“If rarely say that I’m a teacher and a fundraiser,” he said, “I’d say that I’m a teacher and a dream builder.”

Fundraising is how the dream becomes sustainable.

The lesson I took with me

Joey did not share a secret formula. He shared a reminder.

Know your donors.Understand what they care about.Stay consistent with outreach.Make giving easy.Invest in relationships over time.

When we honor those truths, the work becomes both more effective and more meaningful.

To learn more about the school visit them online: https://frisch.org/

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I help nonprofits raise more money through education, coaching, and strategic planning. I also lead high-impact professional development, coaching programs, and retreats for companies of all sizes. If you’re ready to strengthen your fundraising strategy, turn board members into advocates, or build a comprehensive legacy giving program, let’s talk.